Whipping Out the Christmas Eggnog

Christmas 2015. It was there. At the supermarket. Sitting beside the milk.

So innocuous.

We had never tasted it before. We were young and desperate. Unable to choose one from of the two brands available. We debated. We ummed and ahhed. We were in the midst of a true shopping dilemma.

Our saviour came in the form of a 40-something Newfie. His advice: Central Dairies was the best.

His opinion wasn’t biased. So he worked for Central Dairies. So he was wearing a Central Dairies Uniform. He truly believed it was the best.

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This is how we came to try our first eggnog – made by Central Dairies. Clearly, this exemplifies why you should treat your employees well. Central Dairies made a sale that day thanks to this friendly stranger. Heck, we even purchased another carton one year later.

Now I wouldn’t say that the repeat purchase of the same product was a reflection on how much we loved their eggnog or indeed how much the happy/creepy chef on the side of the carton drew us in with his soulful eyes and Egg Nog Smoothie. In fact, it was more to do with how flummoxed J—- and I were about the drink in general. Two years in a row we have had eggnog now and two years in a row we have been a little confused.

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It’s creamy, eggy, extremely sugary, and flavoured with various spices. We should love it. We should devour it. But there is something about the drink which means we don’t want to buy ten hundred cartons of it each year. We tried it with our Rhubarb Brandy. This was definitely not the way to go. Are we meant to add rum instead? Are we meant to be a little tipsy before having our first eggnog? Are we meant to heat it up? Is it the central dairies eggnog itself that is befuddling us? Is it meant to be more or less eggy, more or less creamy, more or less sugary? Is eggnog a drink that has to be made at home to be any good? Yes, our first-world problem has us questioning life in general.

One thing we know for certain is that whatever Central Dairies is selling us, it’s a puzzle we want to solve. We will continue to drink this drink in order to figure it out, to reveal its many layers, to see how this drink can be transformed with small little changes. We will continue to try eggnog, hoping to find out why we still want to drink it when we aren’t entirely sure about it. Perhaps, in the end, it will all be in vain. A complete waste of time. Perhaps, we don’t even like the drink. But this is a revelation that is yet to happen, and it will not happen until we have exhausted all the potential variables that come with eggnog.

 

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